What I Learned (Final)

     A Guide to Teaching: The Norton Field Guides to Writing, is one of the books we read for graduate school this semester.  I particularly enjoyed reading this book. I learned how to be a better instructor.  While I've been teaching Basic Writing for a number of years, I realized ways to be better.  A section that I particularly enjoyed reading was learning how to better respond to students' essays.  Richard Bullock suggests that instructors should respond like a reader, write personal responses or ask questions in response to students' writing.  This provides a basis to help students revise their essays.  Bullock also suggests limiting our responses on students essays. I am guilty of this.  I would comment in-depth on content and grammar at the same time.  Now I know it is better to limit my response to one area of higher order of concern and then find a major pattern of grammatical error.  Also, by recognizing which stage of the writing process the student is in, it will focus my feedback and minimize the urge to cover too much.

I also enjoyed the diversity of scholarship this semester.  It was a joy to read essays from different ethnic groups and minority writers.  I would have liked to spend more time discussing Mina Shaughnessy's Errors and Expectations.  I still have some questions about her work that I would have liked to discuss.

An essay that I particularly enjoyed reading was Akua Duku Anokye's "Oral Connections to Literacy."  My experience has taught me that many students in Basic Writing do not have the same exposure to print literacy as their counterparts.  Consequently, they rely heavily on their ear to spell words.  Anoyke's essay taught me how to incorporate their linguistic community in the classroom. As I grow as a scholar in the field of Basic Writing, I am discovering that I enjoy analyzing the connection between minority communities, their home language and how this affects their success as first year students.  I have decided I want to research this area.

Having read "Oral Connections to Literacy" was in line with my passion to better understand students with spelling irregularities and it made reading Beyond the "SP" Label: Improving the Spelling of Basic Writers and Learning Disabled Students even more enjoyable.  I love working with students who have spelling errors and this book provided practical strategies and a historical foundation to help me improve the spelling of the students I'll have in Basic Writing classes.  I enjoyed learning the difference between learning disabled and basic writing students. I also learned how various print systems--logographic, alphabetic and syllabary--effect students who speak, read, and write in more than one language.  Then my co-presenters and I virtually compiled our presentation about the book.  All of us contributed equally and only met 20 minutes prior to our presentation.  However because all of us were thoroughly prepared, it made presenting easier.

What was most challenging this semester was writing my literacy narrative.  I had no idea it would be so difficult, but it was.  I wrote three different drafts.  All were equally emotional and honest.  I decided to write my narrative about learning  to read and write Legalese in order to keep my son in my primary custody.  His father had access to more money and made heinous accusations against me.  In the beginning of this process, I didn't know how to articulate my ideas clearly to the court or read and understand the copious amounts of paperwork that go along with filing court applications.  I had to research legal databases, consult with lawyers and prepare court documents.  Once I began understanding how to compose my ideas and present them to the court, getting the court to believe me became easier. 

Even though writing the literacy narrative was emotionally difficult writing out my ideas and working through my confusions on my blog was very helpful.  The blog was mine.  I customized it, used natural language and inserted images and links into my writing.  I decided I wanted my blog to be multimodal as soon as I learned we could personalize it.  I inserted images of me and my son, Gloria Anzadula and images of the books we read in class to engage the reader.  

My blog was thematic: What is Basic Writing?  My quest was to discover who basic writers are and what basic writing is.  Along the way, I learned that students enrolled in basic writing classes have more challenges than students enrolled in Freshman Composition courses.  They have to learn the same material more quickly than students in FYC.  They also have to produce similar essays as their peers, even though many of them enter college with deficits in their learning.  I asked questions on my blog about this and wanted to understand what I could do as an instructor to better help them.  Writing informally gave me permission to be authentic.  I was.  My blog became my journal.  I liked it so much that I will incorporate blogging in my classes.  It will replace a print journal.  It is my hope students will like it as much as me.

Reflection: Writing My Literacy Narrative (Final)

RAsheda Young

ENGL B2802

Basic Writing Theory & Pedagogy

Writing My Literacy Narrative

Writing my literacy narrative has been a labor of love.  My theme this semester has been to be an honest student.  Being an honest student means admitting my weaknesses and strengths, asking for help when I need it, and removing my ego in order to learn.  It's been working.  When I sat down to write my literacy narrative the first time, I needed to write that story about how I learned to hate myself and how I learned to love myself.  Although I did not execute the assignment correctly, writing about literacy, it was still important for me to get my ideas out about self-hate.  I had to confront that part about myself.  I used the book the Bluest Eye to construct my narrative around the main character Pecola Breedlove who begets nothing but hate despite her last name.

Once the draft was finished, I remember feeling powerful.  I felt like I accomplished something magnificent—being honest.  I know it can be revised more thoroughly, but still, I feel like I accomplished a milestone: being honest and transparent. 

In order to write this draft, I began reading The Bluest Eye again.  I needed to understand why this book resonated so deeply within me.  As a graduate student and mother of two children, when I read this book this time around, it affected me differently.  I understood that the characters were not born with hate.  Hate was given to them.  In turn, they gave it to others.  In my case, hate was given to me by girls and boys in high school for being "pretty" and "rich".  Hate was also given to me from people in my community and “friends” at Hampton University.  Much like Pecola, I wanted to fit in and be accepted, but I couldn’t.  Their self-hate absorbed them, spilled over their scorned lips, and fell into my lap.  The concept of self-hate didn’t truly crystalize until I wrote my narrative.

When I received my professor's feedback and better understood the assignment, I wrote another draft that focused on how I learned to read and write Legalese to save my son Malik.  Writing that narrative was difficult as well.  It forced me to be organized in my thinking; therefore, I began to speak my ideas into a tape recorder.  I wrote my words down as I heard them. Then I revised my ideas.  This essay was equally challenging because it was emotional.  I wrote about overcoming physical, mental and emotional abuse by son’s father.  For a short time period, my children and I did not have our own place.  I slept on a hardwood floor and they slept on a twin sized air mattress.  Most of this time, I was sad, but determined not to go back to my son’s father.  

Another reason that writing this paper was difficult is that I had to organize all the times I went to court against a man I once loved.  I had to clearly demonstrate how this man was able to convince a judge to vacate all of his child support arrears.  I had very little money to retain a lawyer nor did I understand how to articulate my needs to the court before a judge; however, I persevered and eventually won in court.

While I crafted my essay, I learned that it’s okay for me to be honest in my writing.  I stopped trying to fake smart and just be smart.  I decided to write authentically by including dialogue.  I wanted to show the characters: Malik, my attorney and the judges.  I used language that fits my linguistic community and just stayed true to myself.  Much like Gloria Anzadula or Geneva Smitherman I chose to write with a tongue of fire: mine.  Similar to Anadula’s determination to speak Pachuco or Chicano Spanish, I chose to write in my language, and when I did, my writing was much more fluent. I enjoyed discovering this honest part of myself.

I learned that a good literacy narrative tells a well-told story that “set[s] up some sort of situation that needs to be resolved” (Bullock 28).  My literacy narrative retells the story of how I saved Malik from going to his father.  I had to learn how to write and speak Legalese in order to keep my son in my primary care. 

Vivid detail is another feature of writing a literacy narrative.  Using “details can bring a narrative to life for readers by giving them vivid mental images of the sights, sounds, smells, tastes and textures of the world in which your story takes place” (Bullock 28).  I decided to do this to the best of my ability by describing my fear in the court room, driving home during a snow storm when I finally left Malik, and my interactions that I had with the court clerk.

“By definition, a literacy narrative tells something that the writer remembers about learning to read or write….The writer needs to make clear why the incident matters to him or her” (Bullock 28).  I tried desperately to reveal why learning to read and speak Legalese was significant to me.  When I first began going to court, I did not understand the paperwork, how to present ideas before the court, understand various terminology, or write a Letter of Certification to the judge outlining my court appearances and history.  Once I learned how to read and write like a lawyer, getting various judges to believe me became a lot easier.

While writing my literacy narrative was a labor of love, it was an enjoyable experience.  I learned about myself as a writer: I need to speak my ideas into a tape recorder first.  This way, my ideas will stay on topic and it provides a rough outline.  I also learned that I am a strong woman.  I won my case against one of the most powerful attorney’s in the state of New Jersey by using the strategy from my lawyer: paint Malik as a liar using court documents and credible sources.  Writing my literacy narrative was more than an act of writing.  It fulfilled one of my goals: writing authentically, honestly and with purpose.

Works Cited

Bullock, Richard.  The Norton Field Guide to Writing.  New York: W.W. Norton, 2009.  Print.

Literacy Narrative (Final)

RAsheda Young

Basic Writing Theory & Pedagogy

May 14, 2013

Literacy Narrative: Draft 3

Final

How Speaking and Writing Legalese Saved My Son

            I’ve always been known for being a strong woman.  I could take on anything.  My mother taught me to smile even during my darkest moments.  I have been smiling a lot.  Behind the smile though stands a tall woman afraid of failing, disappointing her family, and afraid of disappointing her children, but I still keep moving.  I move by the promise that even though I’m dealing with the most litigious person I know, my efforts to save my son will be rewarded.  In the beginning of this awful ordeal, I was not as confident in my own ability to advocate for myself or fill out the copious amounts of paperwork that go along with getting a court hearing. Once I learned how to read and write like a lawyer, saving Malik became easier.

            My son Malik is five years old.  He’s outgoing, smart, caring, a brat, attention seeking and one of the joys of my life.  His father and I weren’t together long enough for my spirit to discern that the core of him is not a good person.  I left him after years of intimidation and obsessive control.  During our relationship I was convinced that he wanted to destroy me.  Now that we aren’t together, I am more convinced.  However things weren’t always so volatile.  There was a moment when I thought we would get married and live the rest of our lives together.  Wrong.  His controlling and verbally abusive tendencies began eating at my spirit.  I began to take on his issues and make them mine.  I lived this way for three and a half years.

            When I finally got the courage to leave my son’s father, I called my father to help me move and to load my things into a U-Haul truck.  He did.  He brought his piece with him too. “RA, if that jerk puts his hands on you, I’m going to use my pistol.”  I just looked at my dad.  He was serious.  He had had enough.  So had I.  For about three hours we loaded my things in the U-haul truck that waited outside in the driveway.  I wanted to be quick.  Malik was coming home soon. I wanted to get out of there before he came home.  Unfortunately, that didn’t happen.  All of  my things weren’t out of the house before Malik returned.  I wasn’t worried though.  He wasn’t abusive when other people were around, so with my father there, I was safe.   With most of the stuff loaded and my son and daughter at my sister’s, I left for south Jersey.  I took the Garden State Parkway home.  Angry snow fell from the sky onto the window shield, making it difficult for me to see, but somehow I did.

            For about six months, I lived with my sister in her one bedroom apartment.  My children slept on a twin air mattress and I slept on the floor.   I woke up every morning determined not to go back to my son’s father.  I did not.  I made the best out of our living situation by continuing to press forward.  I got bedroom sheets that I knew my children would enjoy and put my daughter in swim twice a week.  I wanted things to be normal for as long as they could.

Things were going pretty well until my son needed to have local eye surgery and I incurred the large bill.  When I asked Malik to help me, he refused; therefore I told him if he wouldn’t I would take him to court requesting that I get child support.  Malik told me that if I kept pressing the issue, he would not contribute in any kind of way towards daycare.  I pressed the issue.  He did not contribute; therefore, I filled out the paperwork to get a court hearing.

“Hello, ma’am may I help you?”

“Yes, this is my first time applying for child support. What do I need to do?”  The small man behind the glass counter looked agitated.  It appeared that he did not want to be bothered.

“Here,” he said.  “You need to fill out this packet and bring this back to me.  Sign your name next to the X on each page.  Any questions?” 

From the way he responded to me, I was afraid to ask him questions, but I did, “Yes, do I need to have his financial information?”

“You mean you came to court without having his financial information?”  He looked at me with complete disbelief and disdain.  He held his mouth open once he completed his sentence.

“Yes, I didn’t know I would need it to fill out the paperwork.  This is my first time doing this.”  I really wanted to switch registers and be as nasty to him as he was being to me, but I held my tongue.  I needed him to help me.

“Okay, ma’am,“ his tone changed.  I guess he could see the nervousness in my eyes. “Yes you do need his information.  Do you know where he works?”

“No. He says he doesn’t have a job anymore, but I don’t believe him.”

“Do you know if he has any assets, stocks, bonds, investment property?”

“Somewhat.”  He reached to another pile beside him and got another packet of information.

“Okay, then you’ll need to fill out this as well.”  Fill this out as well?  Those words clanked about my head like a voice in the mountains with nothing but that singular voice bouncing off tree limbs.  Fill this out too?  He handed me at least 30 pages of blank pieces of paper to fill out.  Each line looked foreign to me “appellant,” “plaintiff,” “defendant,” “stocks,” “primary custodial parent,” “gross income,” “fill out which division: family or child support”.  I was intimidated by all the white space on the pages. I refused to give up though.  I filled them out to the best of my ability.  Malik kept his finances a secret.  I didn’t know where he kept his money, where he banked or if he were the sole owner of his investment properties in Newark, New Jersey.  I did my best.  Some of the pages were left blank.

As soon as I got home, I began researching the terms from the application I did not know.  I did a quick Google search.  I typed in “plaintiff,” “gross income,” “primary custodial parent.”  While I knew what gross income meant, I did not know how to connect this to Malik.  I found out I would always be considered the “plaintiff” as I was the initial person to bring my concerns to the court.  I also learned that it was very important for me to be recognized and listed as the “primary custodial parent.”  Simply stated, “primary physical custody means that one parent is more responsible for caring for any child or children in the family. It also means that the child will spend more time with that parent than with the other” (Lawyers.com para 2).  Understanding this term was crucial for my case.  Since Malik made heinous allegations against me, I needed to substantiate my mental fitness by proving that 1) I had my son most of the time  2) his father returned him to me every week without expressing concern for the welfare of his child and 3) the primary custodial parent is entitled to child support.

I spent a lot of time reading information on the internet from credible websites like New Jersey Law and LexisNexis.  I needed to understand how to best highlight pertinent information to the court.  I had to accomplish before our next court date.  Once Malik received my motion from the court, things got really ugly. It’s important for you to understand that we began going to court in July 2011.  I did not actually begin getting child support until January 2012.  He was obligated to $69 per week plus $150 a week for daycare.  I was satisfied with that.  He wasn’t.  He wrote a motion asking for custody of my son, claiming that I was an abusive parent, mentally unstable, and lost custody of my daughter Amaz.  I was confident that the judge wouldn’t believe him, and in part, the judges didn’t.  What became challenging though was getting Malik to pay child support.  He was so upset with the child support calculation that he wrote the court asking the judge to reconsider his decision. 

In March 2012 he went to court without me being there.  I did not receive mail correspondence from the court, so I did not attend the hearing.  From the hearing, Malik was able to get all of the arrears vacated.  His child support obligation was zero weekly dollars.  I was furious.  I did not know what to do.  I was responsible for paying half of daycare expenses, expenses for graduate school and providing for my daughter.  Because of all of my expenses, I began getting behind on bills.  During the process my car was reposed (though regained quickly) and house foreclosed.  Again, what was I going to do?  I didn’t understand “vacated arrears,” “date of filing preserved until plaintiff establishes rental income,” or “plaintiff must reimburse defendant daycare expenses within 30 days from this proceeding.”  All of it looked foreign to me.  When I read those words from the court order, I couldn’t believe it.  I did not understand how he was able to get all of his child support arrears dismissed or how he convinced the judge that I had to reimburse him within 30 days for the money he paid out for childcare.

Once I got the notice from court that all arrears were vacated and that he didn’t have to pay child support, I determined for myself that he would.  I decided to go back and ask for a reconsideration of the judge’s decision.  Before returning to the courthouse, this time, I did some investigation.  I did a search of his name through Google and found that he owned property in multiple locations within the state.   One of the pages proved that he owned a 21unit apartment building.  I printed those pages.  I brought them when I filled out another application to ask for a reconsideration of the judge’s decision from March 2012.  The 30 pages of blank pages from the clerk did not seem so daunting.  Instead of taking two hours as it did before to fill out the paperwork, this time, it only took one.  “Thank you,” he said, “you have a court date in May.  We will send the defendant your application.”

I left the courthouse feeling pretty confident about my court date and my growing confidence in filling out the paperwork.  Wrong.  For various reasons our case was rescheduled three times.  Our case was not heard before a judge until August 2012; that’s a whopping five months after my initial filing date.  Once our court date arrived, I was confident that my research would yield positive results.  When I saw the judge, I was happy that she was a woman.  I thought she would be as livid with Malik’s lack of cooperation as me.  She was an unimpressive white woman with thin brown hair.  I could see her scalp from the bench.  Her black robe made her look regal though inflated.  I observed how she handled cases.  She was sharp, abrupt, and only courteous to lawyers: “Don’t speak unless I ask you a question!  You’re interrupting me.  Don’t speak when I talk Sir.  Don’t speak.”  My initial thought of her being sympathetic to me because of my gender quickly left when she began speaking to lawyers. I was scared.  Bad.

            When our case was called, Young vs. Akbar, I was terrified.  In order to prove Malik had been underreporting his income, I needed to provide concrete proof that he owned apartment buildings.  I showed the judge my research from Google showing that the deed was in Malik’s name.   That was inadmissible. She needed something more factual.  I needed the actual deed from the County Clerk.  Then while looking for other court papers while I was giving my testimony, I serendipitously found a prior court order dated September 2011; it ordered Malik to bring five years’ worth of tax returns.  If he didn’t, he would be sanctioned $25 each business day that passed without him bringing said information to court.  I read it to the judge. I was relieved. Wrong. He still didn’t comply with the court by bringing said information to court that day.  Instead he continued making accusations about my mental fitness and inability to care for our son: “Your Honor,” he said, “we need to look at her mental fitness.  She was hospitalized in the mental ward at Jersey Shore Hospital.”  I was floored.  How could he be so vile?  The judge dismissed his allegation on the basis of lack of proof.  She gave him two weeks to comply with the prior court order.  She ordered him to supply his financial documents.

Two days after the judge’s deadline for Malik to comply, he filed another application to the court asking for a reconsideration of her decision on the grounds that I was mentally unstable.   He wrote that he wants custody and requested a new court date.  His wish was granted.  We got another court date before a different judge.  Our new court date was for December 12^th.  However, the night before our court date, he retained counsel who then called the judge’s chambers to adjourn the hearing.  Malik’s rationale for calling the court was that he needed time to get his financial documents together.  The judge dismissed the case.  I was furious!  I had been waiting since March 2012 to get child support for our son and to prove my mental fitness as Malik’s mom.  I incurred unbelievable financial hardships and put my academic dreams on hold to provide for my children.  I was relentless.  I kept calling the judge’s chambers to get a new court date.  Finally after weeks of calling, I was able to get a court date for February.  However, this time, in order to win my case, I decided I needed to learn how to speak like a lawyer, present my case like a lawyer, organize my case like a lawyer and to read like a lawyer. 

One of my friends just recently graduated from Georgetown Law School and is a family lawyer barred in Washington DC.  I asked her to recommend a lawyer who could take my case in New Jersey.  Shortly after her recommendation, I met with a lawyer. “Good afternoon,” she said.  “As you know, I am Mrs. Jalloh.”  Mrs. Jalloh is an African-American woman who stood about 5’6 with shoulder length curled black hair.  She’s a slender woman who wore a tan suit and spoke with a southern accent.

            “Good afternoon.  One of my friends from facebook recommended that I speak with you.  She highly recommended your firm.”

            “Thank you,” she led me to a small conference room.  It had a long rectangular table with six chairs around the circumference.  I was nervous.  She pulled out her chair and sat down.  She used the stop watch on her iPhone to record the time.  She placed it in front of her.  “Now how may I help you?”  In order to expedite matters and make the best use of my time, I brought all of the court orders.  I put them in sequential order.  “Ultimately what would you like to happen Ms. Young?”

            “I would like child support recalculated to the first time I applied for child support back in July 2011.  Malik lied in March 2012 and based on this lie, he convinced the judge to have my child support payment calculated to zero weekly dollars.  At the time, Malik owed child support arrears.  I would like those back.  Do you think you can make this happen?”

            “I cannot make any promises.  Let me see what you have.”  I gave her my binder of information. “Okay, well let me look this over in more detail.  I have a contract that explains my fee.” 

I took the contract and read it.  My inner eyeballs rolled in my head as I hovered over the retainer fee:  Fifteen hundred dollars!!  How in the world am I going to come up with that kind of money?  “I’m sorry Mrs. Jalloh, but I don’t want to waste your time.  There’s no way that I can afford that right now.  Is there any way you’ll accept a payment plan?”
            “We do have payment plan options but the full retainer must be paid before we go to court.” 

I knew I couldn’t agree to that.  We were going to court in February.  My meeting with her took place in December.  “I know I will not have the money by February.  I’m being honest.”

“Okay, I’ll take a look at what you have.  You need a strategy.  You don’t want to go in there without a strategy.  I’ll call you in two weeks.  I’ll let you know what I can do in terms of the retainer fee.”

“Thank you.”  I left the binder of information for her, jumped on the Garden State Parkway and headed home for Neptune.

Like clockwork, two weeks later Mrs. Jalloh called me and we set up a time for me to come to her office.  Her office is forty-five minutes north of where I live.  I jumped on the Parkway and prepared myself for the worse: she could not take my case.  “Ms. Young, so nice to see you.  How are you?”

“I’m well thank you.”  She led me back into the same room with the big rectangular table and chairs.  I sat down too. “I looked at your court orders and there are some holes that need filling.  I’ve prepared a list of action items for you to complete and a timeline of court hearings, who filed the application, and the outcome.  I realize that you cannot pay the retainer fee,” my heart was pounding at this point, “so I’ll only charge you for the strategy that I’m giving you.  That will be $300.  A favor”

Saying I was relieved doesn’t do her kind gesture justice.  “Thank you,” I said through a smile. I read over the documents.  “What does ‘date of filing mean’ and why is it important?  Why is it important to have the court orders in order?”

“Oftentimes the defendant hopes that you are not organized.   You’ve been to court many times and he can use that against you.  Typically judges are overloaded and do not read all of the court orders.  By having the court orders in chronological order with a numerated summary of each order, you’ll be able to 1) direct the judge’s attention to the court order and 2) match up the defendant’s words against the court order.  Court orders will be your proof.  Judges accept this.  Additionally the date of filing shows the judge who initiated the proceeding and why.  Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“It’s also important for you to fill in these holes.  What happened between March 2012 and August 2012?  What took so long for you to get a court date?

I explained it to her.

“Do you have proof?”

“Yes.”

“So he has not been paying child support since March 2012?”

“Right.”

“Do you know what happened at the March 2012 hearing?”

“No.”

“Then you need to get a copy of that transcript.  You need to find out how he was able to get the child support calculated to zero weekly dollars.  That’s unheard of! Can you do that?”

I didn’t want to lie. “No, how do you do that and why is it important?”

“The transcript is written by a court approved transcriber.  The transcript is another form of evidence that the judge will consider.  While you’re at the court to get the transcript, get the child support guidelines that were run in March.  This will show you if he actually provided the court with his financial documents.  If he did not, use this against him.  Show that he is constantly in contempt of court orders.”

“Okay.”

“Remember your goal is to show his contempt of court orders.  To do this, match his words against court orders.  This will prove that he lacks credibility.  You’ll also need to provide proof for everything you say.  Do you understand?”

“Yes!”  I gave her a hug.  She hugged me back.  I was so delighted that a woman I never met before gave me such thorough assistance for a fraction of the cost.  I drove home that day more determined than ever to win my son and put Malik’s allegations of mental unfitness to rest.

As suggested by Mrs. Jalloh, I ordered the Official Transcript from our March 12^th hearing.  When I read the transcript, I saw where he lied:  “What order provides that she reimburse you daycare expenses Sir?”

“The October 27^th—“

“The October 27^th court order provides that she pay you back?”

“Yes, it says: ‘Ms. Young has 30 days to reimburse Mr. Akbar child daycare expenses.’”

“Okay, well I’m not going to reverse that court order.  Has she paid you back Sir?”

“No.”

“Okay, I’ll vacate child support arrears since she has not been compliant with the court.  This will serve as her repayment to you.” Based on this lie, he got his arrears erroneously vacated and child support payment reduced to zero weekly dollars.  I made a note of this.  After reading this, I wrote a summary to the court of why I needed child support using New Jersey State Statues that provide clear indicators:

child support schedules represent the average amount that intact families spend on their children (i.e., the marginal amount spent on the children). The Appendix IX-F support awards include the child’s share of expenses for housing, food, clothing, transportation, entertainment, unreimbursed health care up to and including $250 per child per year, and miscellaneous items (New Jersey State Judiciary Appendix IX A)

 for a person to receive child support.  I built my summary around this definition.  I proved that Malik has needs and he needed to contribute his portion.  I also presented an explication of all the court orders without adding any personal narrative to sway the judge’s decision.  I included all of the court orders in chronological order.  I called the attorney when I did not understand wording “shared parenting,” “non-custodial parent,” and “Dead Beat Parent Act of 1998.” She was kind.  She explained them to me for free.  Lastly, I found a rental advertisement for Malik’s apartment building.  I figured I nailed him.  This time he would pay child support and I would still be able to keep my son.

On February 15^th I returned to court.  My consulting attorney told me to put in bold face any proof or narrative that I wanted the judge to read.  I did.  She also told me to provide proof for everything I say in court.  I entered the judge’s courtroom with a binder of information: all court orders in chronological order, copies of his rental properties, a copy of the Official Transcript where he lied under oath, and an explication of the court orders.  I learned from prior hearings that judges do not read the entire file.  That’s how Malik was able to deceive the other judge.  My strategy was to kindly force the judge to read all of the court orders.  I began using lawyer speak when I addressed the judge: “Your Honor, may I please direct your attention to page 2 line 13….May I please kindly disagree and show Your Honor where the defendant is not being truthful…According to N.J.S.A. which outlines factors for child support, I base my need accordingly.”  I felt proud. 

Malik hired an expensive attorney.  In fact, he’s listed as one of the most expensive lawyers in Essex County.  I could not afford an attorney, but on that day, I felt confident that I could win my case: get child support for my son and remain primary custodial parent.  During the court proceeding, Malik was caught in several lies.  When his lawyer tried to defend his client, I used the strategy from my lawyer (match his words against court orders) and disputed his claim.  I poked holes in his credibility.  As a result, I maintain custody of my son and get child support. When I showed the judge proof of his rental properties, she told me that I could not submit information from Google as it’s not always credible.  I needed to go to the County Clerk’s Office.  While I was happy that I was getting child support, I knew if I followed the suggestion of the judge, it was possible to increase my child support.  Of course Malik was upset that he had to pay child support and of course he wrote the court for another hearing.  He still wants custody and he is still trying to get his child support payment reduced to zero dollars a week.

I decided to think like a lawyer by doing a legal search deeds at Essex County, the county where he purchased property.  While there, I found out that Malik was purposely underreporting his income because he owns over 1 MILLION dollars in investment properties.  He’s also taken out loans on his property amounting to more than $750,000 cash.  Now I have solid proof: deeds to all of his properties and copies of his mortgage.  Our new court date is April 26th.  I plan on using this information to justify an increase in child support. 

Because I have new information, I had to return to court to fill out another application for the judge.   “Hello, Ms. Young.  It’s you again.”

“Yes, unfortunately it’s me again.”  I’ve been there so many times that they know my name.

“How may I help you today?”

“I need an application for modification and enforcement of two separate court orders.  Do I need two different applications for that?”

“No, you don’t.  But you must have a copy of the court order that you wish to enforce.”

“I do.  I also have proof that the defendant has been underreporting his income to avoid paying a higher amount in child support.”

“You do?  Let me see what you have.”  I took out my documents and handed them to him.  “If you include this in your application, the defendant will get a copy.  Do you want him to have a copy?”

“No.  I will compose a Letter of Certification for the judge.  At said time, I will send the defendant the same information through certified mail.  Once I get confirmation that he’s received aforementioned, I’ll enter the deeds and other supporting documentation to the court.”  I was so impressed by my confidence.  From just one session with my lawyer, I was able to imitate the way she spoke.

“No problem Ms. Young.  I understand.” Not only did I have Malik’s financial documents, I brought extra copies for the clerk, I updated the explication of court orders and have solid proof showing how duplicitous Malik has been in court proceedings.  Now the application does not have blank pages.  All of the pages are neatly filled out.

Even though I did not win every court proceeding, I feel more confident in my ability to present my ideas and read the various court applications for court.  I had to learn how to talk and act like a lawyer in order for the judge and law clerk to take me seriously.  In the beginning, I didn’t know how to fill out the application properly.  I was intimidated by all the foreign lawyer-like words: “appellant,” “defendant,” “shared parenting,” “non-custodial parent,” or “Official Transcript.”  I was also afraid that because Malik has more money, a bigger house, and newer car that he had all the material trinkets to suggest he was a better parent.  However, that was and is not true.  Judges make decisions in the best interest of the child.  I also learned that judges do not always read court orders and that if I want the judge to really hear my case, I must be organized, have proof and always be polite. 

Since learning how to speak and read Lawyer, I feel powerful.  I learned how to present my ideas in court by being organized, having irrefutable proof, and knowing how to respect the status of judges by not interrupting him or her when he or she speaks and to always address the bench with: “Your Honor.”  Unlike Malik, I did not have the money to hire one of the most expensive lawyers in the state. Instead I researched the Internet, talked to friends who were lawyers and used the strategy from my lawyer, use irrefutable evidence to paint him as a liar, to help me present my ideas clearly.  I have a new case in April before the same judge who heard my case in February.  I feel confident that I’ll be able to save Malik by keeping him with me.